“Isn’t this really the root of the tragedy of “fathers” and “children”, that even the best “fathers” only try to pass on the accumulated goodness to the “children”, while the “children” are eager to find new ones? values? Isn’t it because these severe discords arise that the “fathers” tried to develop their “children”, having themselves lost the sacred ability to develop? Look into your soul, fathers! Borovsky In our society, it is customary to talk about difficult children, but not about their parents. Another problem is that parents want to remain ideal for their children, and not show that they too may experience different feelings, and may also be angry with the child. Parents can be in different states - this is a fact of life. But it is also true that in our society there is a taboo on the image of mom and dad: in children’s books, for example, only good things are said about parents. Parents seem to be fenced off from the lives of their children by the myth of “ideality,” “perfection,” and “strength.” In fact, parents are not always fair to their children. There are more difficult situations: for example, when a child is forced to be embarrassed by his parents, who are in prison, divorced, are alcoholics, drug addicts, or simply sick - in a word, “difficult” parents. It happens that someone often gets irritated and cannot cope with their feelings and emotions. Each parent is sometimes “difficult”, although to varying degrees. We often, very unconsciously, make our child suffer and don’t even bother to ask for forgiveness for it. And here, it is important to admit to yourself that “I am not an ideal parent, I am a living parent,” it is important to start talking about it. For example, in the books of Swedish writers, and indeed Scandinavian ones in general, who are distinguished by tolerance in this area, various situations are considered. In some books, parents are depressed, in others, children are undeservedly ashamed of their dads and moms. But, one way or another, many children have difficulty with them. If both parents and children read books that deal with difficult relationships, but talk about them frankly, both of them develop the idea that it is impossible to be perfect. Of course, the most difficult job of a parent is admitting to yourself your problems and difficulties, the ability to look within yourself, admit your shortcomings and mistakes. This is the ability not to “turn a blind eye” to one’s life, not to devalue it at the expense of the child’s life. This is your own, personal psychological growth, an increase in your capabilities, and not the “capabilities” of the child. Happy children come from happy parents, not the other way around. It is normal that parents are not always competent, they can make mistakes and quarrel. And the main thing is that adults have their own problems that are not related to the child, and the child is not responsible for the fact that the parents may have some difficulties. Parents want to remain ideal for their children, and not show that they too may experience different feelings, and may also be angry with the child. It's good when a parent has the opportunity to give a direct message: "I'm angry with you now." After all, this does not mean that the parent loves the child less than always. Whatever the parents are, whatever temporary feelings and emotions they show towards their children, they love them. And in the hearts of children, despite grievances and disappointments, there is a place for both dad and mom, no matter how bad they consider them. It is important that children remain children, and parents remain parents, and that children do not become parents for their fathers and mothers. The text uses materials from “Books about parents: “undermining basic pedagogy” or an opportunity to look within?"